Dealing with invasions of privacy

As a domme, you should do everything you can to protect your identity. I talked about this in Keeping yourself safe, as well as here and there in the 10 steps. Safety is vital for a domme. There are a lot of folks out there with questionable intentions.

Sadly, there are a lot of people who find it fun to out dommes to their families and friends, by tracking down information related to their vanilla lives. While some dommes are open with their loved ones, and couldn’t care less who knows what, many have to protect their anonymity to keep their jobs and relationships.

So, what can you do when someone contacts you with threats of outing you?

Don’t engage

The moment someone starts harassing or threatening you, stop engaging. If they’re messaging you, put the messaging on mute. If they’re leaving comments, use whatever tools the social platforms give you to mute them or lock down comments. Give them nothing. No angry responses, no message read indications, no replies.

Block

If you can track down the social profiles of the people threatening you, block them. Keep the profile they contacted you on unblocked, otherwise, they’ll just keep making new profiles to aggravate you. You just want to remove their access to your profiles everywhere else.

Report

If the person is threatening you with exposure, report their profile. Most social platforms have rules against threats and harassment. Use their reporting systems to get them removed from wherever they’ve contacted you and harassed or threatened you.

This can sometimes feel like a game of whack-a-mole, since the very persistent cyber bullies will simply make new accounts. Don’t interact. Just take a screenshot of the harassment, and report it.

Expose

Along with using screenshots of harassment to report accounts, post them. Every time they contact you, on whatever platform, screenshot their harassment, and post it. Their comments, notifications, and DMs will immediately fill with angry dommes. This often results in the loser deleting their account, which is very satisfying

Lock down

If harassment continues, set your profiles to private for a bit. Nothing to see here, so nothing to expose. Continue with the subs you have.

Document

Keep screenshots of everything. You may need this later, either to show to the police, or platform moderators.

Out yourself

If you have family or friends who would be open to hearing you’re a findomme, and have a cyber stalker, now’s the time to tell them. Get yourself some angry allies wherever you can.

Be aware

While you’re protecting your online privacy, be equally cautious in your real life. Sometimes, the folks looking for your info are really looking for your address, so they can come to your house and bother you. Be aware of your surroundings.

Remember all that documentation? Police love that stuff, and so do judges. If you need a restraining order, it will come in handy.

Think ahead

Did you know you can remove your personal info from Google searches? Take a look at this article. Lock your personal information down wherever you can.

In conclusion

I can’t say this often enough: keep yourself safe, by any means necessary. If some of these suggestions work for you, use them. If taking a break from findom, or changing your domme name and restarting feels like it will end the harassment, consider that. Whatever you need to do to shake off the loser, do it.