Keeping yourself safe
In case you didn’t hear me the other times I’ve said it: being a findomme is sex work. You need to take the same precautions to keep yourself and your money safe as any other sex worker.
Why safety is vital
It’s a big, weird world out there, and you don’t know if the nice sub you’re chatting with online is tracking your location so he can stalk you, rob you, rape you, or beat the hell out of you for being a sex worker. Or all of the above. I’m not overselling here. This stuff happens. Don’t think you’re immune. Protect yourself.
Your safety checklist
Don’t use your real name. Ever. Pick a different name to use when you do business. Use that name for everything related to findom.
Set up a new email. Don’t use one you’ve ever used for anything else.
Get a new phone number. Either buy a pay as you go phone (a burner phone), or get a Google Voice phone number.
Only use your new email and phone number to sign up for anything associated with your domme persona. That means creating new accounts on social media, not connected to those you already have, using your domme email and phone number.
Wherever you sign up and set up profiles, turn off the setting that allows that site to connect to your contacts.
Sign up for new payment methods. Do not use existing accounts, or connect your domme payment method to your vanilla life one. Don’t risk losing the payment account you use for a vanilla business because your sex work one gets removed.
Each time you sign up for a new social media account, block anyone you want to prevent from seeing it. Your mom, your best friend, the folks on your FB friend list. Block them all if you want to prevent them finding your domme life.
Use a VPN. This prevents anyone from grabbing your IP address when you’re online, and narrowing in on where you are.
When taking photos and videos, be aware of what’s in the background. Don’t shoot content in easily identifiable areas close to your home. Don’t shoot in your home where personal photos or your diplomas are hanging on the wall. Create a blank space to shoot that doesn’t divulge any personal details, or use a camera blur app for your backgrounds.
Turn off location tagging everywhere. On your phone’s camera, turn off location in the metadata of photos. Turn off location information on all your new social accounts.
Things to avoid
Don’t use your existing social media accounts you use for your life away from findom. Without realizing it, you’ve already posted way too much identifying information on them.
As I said above, never use existing payment accounts, or connect them in any way.
Specifically, avoid using PayPal, or an Amazon wishlist. Both will divulge your real name and mailing address.
Never agree to meet someone you’ve just met online in real life. You shouldn’t even consider doing this until you’ve known a sub for a while, and even then, you should bring a bodyguard with you, and meet in a very public place.
Never invite anyone in your domme life to your home.
Trust your gut
If someone is asking you to do business in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, is insisting on meeting you in person, asking for your home address so they can send you a gift, or anything else that sounds off, listen to that inner voice. Learn to say NO, firmly, and without explanation. If the pressure to do things you don’t feel safe doing continues, block that person. Your safety is more valuable than whatever they’re offering to operate outside your comfort zone.