Why did my sub ghost me?

So, you’re having good chats with your new sub, they’re sending regularly, you’re both vibing—and then, they disappear. Account gone. Poof. It’s like they never existed.

This happens all the time. Don’t take it personally. Chances are, it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.

Motivations to ghost

Sometimes, subs arrive on your doorstep with an idea of what being your personal money slave will be, and when presented with the reality, they panic. It’s fun, but findom is expensive, and they weren’t expecting to feel so elated when sending to you, and so broke the next day.

There are subs who feel guilty about being submissive. Guilty about sending money to get off. Guilty about not doing something more vanilla with that cash. Guilt is a powerful motivator.

Shame is another powerful motivator. Last night, you drained their wallet, and this morning, they’re ashamed that they enjoyed it so much.

How to minimize these motivators

To help keep your subs from feeling panic, guilt, or shame after a session, do a little aftercare. Ask them how they’re doing, if they need anything from you, and just generally decompress with them. Encourage them to discuss how they’re feeling.

Do not take this personally

I can’t say this often enough: do not take subs ghosting you personally. It’s what they do. Don't take their disappearance as commentary on your ability as a domme. Subs come and go, and that’s just one of the things dommes have to accept. Just let them go, and keep looking forward to the next one.