What is aftercare?
Aftercare refers to the time and attention given to your sub after a session has ended. The more intense the session, the more you will want to check in with your sub, to make sure they’re doing OK, and ensure that what they experienced in the session did no harm.
How to initiate aftercare
Discuss the idea of aftercare with your sub before the session starts. It can be as simple as “after we’re done, let’s chat for a bit”. If the sub asks why, explain that sometimes, sessions can be intense, and it’s good to just touch base afterward. Some subs may be reluctant, so pitch it as a chance for them to tell you how you did.
If the session ends abruptly, a simple text or DM a few minutes later, asking if everything is OK, might be in order. Some sessions bring up feelings of guilt or shame, or can trigger anxiety, and making yourself available to talk through what happened might make the difference between a happy sub, and one who disappears.
Post-nut clarity
You’ll hear about post-nut clarity often when talking to dommes and subs. It’s a term that refers to the sub no longer being horny, and realizing what they’ve just done. If there was a good deal of their play budget used in one session, they may be upset at the amount spent. They may feel stupid or weak. A little reassurance goes a long way when this happens.
Take care of your subs
As an ethical domme, recognize that your subs are human beings with feelings. A good domme can humiliate and degrade a sub who requests it, and care for that sub after she’s done. Never assume that just because a sub asks for something, they’re prepared for the reality of participating in it. Ask. Communicate, both before, and after.