What is a findomme?
A findomme (or FinDomme) is a financial dominatrix: a woman or non-binary person who receives money from a submissive while participating in their financial domination fetish.
About financial domination
Financial domination (findom) is a kink or fetish. The dominant partner will demand cash in various ways, and the submissive is usually sexually aroused by giving it. I’ll elaborate on the various ways that happens in a separate article.
What does a sub get from a domme in exchange for that money? Off. He gets—-off. That’s it. There’s nothing else required. Sounds simple, right?
A findomme is a sex worker
In findom, the domme is a sex worker. She skillfully gives a submissive the experience he desires to achieve sexual gratification, while she takes money. Even if there is never any physical contact between domme and sub, and the entire experience takes place online, make no mistake, this type of exchange is sex work, and comes with all the hassles and dangers that accompany being a sex worker.
TikTok misinformation vs. reality
Unfortunately, there are some inexperienced “insta-dommes” on TikTok who are spreading the idea that all you have to do to be a domme and rake in tons of money is be mean to men.
That ain’t it. It’s not that simple.
Being a good domme is knowing whether your sub even likes a domme to be mean to him. Some subs like to be degraded or humiliated. Some like to be feminized. Some are looking for a soft or mommy domme. Your job as a domme is to elicit this information, and give the sub the experience he desires, or tell him to move on, because you don’t provide the services he wants.
For a more in depth look at findom, try this article from The Dr. Sue Review.